The Five Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages

With more than 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman has heard it all. He has helped couples at every stage of marriage and at pivotal points in their relationships—from those just discovering the joys and trial of marriage to those who are ready to call it quits.

After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

Since The 5 Love Languages^® debuted in 1992, over five million copies have been sold, making The 5 Love Languages^® a perennial New York Times bestseller. But numbers don’t measure the influence the book has had on couples and their marriages.

The 5 Love Languages^® has helped countless couples identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the appropriate love language. Many husbands and wives who had spent years struggling through marriages they thought were loveless discovered one or both spouses had long been showing love through messages that weren’t getting through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good.

The book has been translated into more than 40 languages and is healing marriages around the world!

The 5 Love Languages^®

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller! Words of Affirmation—Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Words of Affirmation

  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

• Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

• Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

• Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Technology Overload Creates Restless Spirits

Technology Overload Creates Restless Spirits

Rebecca Hagelin

Two recent conversations reminded me how an abundance of technonoise in a child's life can lead to boredom and emptiness.
My friend Linda looked stressed. "I can't wait for my kids to go back to school," she said.  "They're restless and don't know what to do with themselves, except text their friends continuously."
When 15-year-old Jordan's mom picked him up from "chilling" at the home of a new friend, Jordan said, "You should see their house.  They've got TV's in every room and they're all on. It was great." Pause. "Except it got boring after awhile."
Technology is indispensible. It keeps us connected—to our friends, co-workers, and the world at large.  And that's great! But it's also increasingly intrusive, superficial, and loud. And that's not so great for the human spirit.
Constant noise and restless spirits: They go together.
The continual barrage of images, information and virtual voices keeps the mind racing, always trying - but failing - to "process." We simply don't have time to think or reflect.  It makes us edgy on the one hand, and bored, on the other.  It's addicting, while at once mentally tiring but not really satisfying.
Picture your child, like a hamster, spinning in a mental wheel that never stops. It's not overly challenging from moment to moment, but the cumulative effect can be mind-numbing and utterly draining. 
Superficiality is the companion problem.  TV dialogue, music lyrics, web copy, and advertising slogans capture feelings and offer snapshots of the moment. But they tend to skim over substantive ideas—a life-changing insight is hard to convey in 30 seconds.  They condition us for "direct response," as the marketers like to say, so we build the habit of reacting without reflecting.
The impact of this steady barrage of "noise"? Our lives may become less rich and less deep, driven by unreflective habits.
How to save your family by creating the habit of quiet, daily reflection.
Our human spirit craves something deeper.  We need time to reflect, to be alone with our thoughts, and to uncover the more profound realities of life.
In the past, simpler lifestyles sent us outdoors; our common cultural experience included silence and the beauty of nature. The normal rhythm of unplanned time fostered imagination, creativity, and reflection. Whatever happened to just lying on the grass and watching the clouds go by, allowing your imagination to turn them into castles in the sky as you sorted through and dealt with the issues and relationships in your life?
Today we need to work a lot harder to help our children discover the inner peace and rich personal growth that flow from quiet reflection.  Our families must learn anew how to carve out quiet time in a very loud world, to build the capacity to reflect in the midst of a culture that rewards instant action. 

So how do we do that? 

First, insist on a daily "quiet" time, for each person—parents and children alike.  Fifteen or 30 minutes alone with an inspirational book, prayer journal, or just your thoughts will go along way towards calming the soul and creating the habit of reflection.  

Second, turn off the screens—all at once, all together—at regular times.  Mealtimes, bedtimes, quiet time, and family time will become much richer without the insistent, digital clamor for attention.  (Plus, it's common courtesy to focus attention on the real people in front of us!) 

Create quiet places in your home: rooms without screens to invitereflection and conversation.
Make peace and quiet reflection a daily part of your life...and you and your children will reap the rewards for a lifetime .

Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

Here are ten principles that will help you create and maintain a successful marriage.

by Mitch Temple

Successful couples are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience – trial and error.

Here are ten principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:

1. Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
2. Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
4. Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
6. The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" – when it feels good and when it doesn't.
9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse.
10. A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.

Copyright © 2009, Mitch Temple. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

The 5 Love Languages

About The Book

With more than 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman has heard it all. He has helped couples at every stage of marriage and at pivotal points in their relationships—from those just discovering the joys and trial of marriage to those who are ready to call it quits.

After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

Since The 5 Love Languages™ debuted in 1992, over five million copies have been sold, making The 5 Love Languages a perennial New York Times bestseller. But numbers don’t measure the influence the book has had on couples and their marriages.

The 5 Love Languages has helped countless couples identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the appropriate love language. Many husbands and wives who had spent years struggling through marriages they thought were loveless discovered one or both spouses had long been showing love through messages that weren’t getting through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good.

The book has been translated into more than 40 languages and is healing marriages around the world!

The 5 Love Languages™

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller! Words of Affirmation—Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Words of Affirmation

  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

• Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

• Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

• Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

CHRISTMAS// It Must Be L.O.V.E

Hi dear church,
This year we will be having a Christmas Celebration + Evangelistic event!
The purpose of this is to celebrate and evangelize to our family and friends the true meaning of Christmas. The theme is; "It must be LOVE" based on John 3:16.


Tickets are at RM 15 per person.
PRAY >> PURSUE >> PERSUADE


Tickets will be available soon. If you are interested please fill in the form at http://fgaipoh.weebly.com/coming-events.html. or contact FGA office at 05-5472995.

DATE: 19th December 2010
TIME: 6:30 p.m
VENUE: Florex Restaurant

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